gee's world

GC for the third time.

2009-09-15T04:11:59Z

hey all sorry to keep posting about the same thing but that was mainly been on my mind lately.
anyhow he came to my bday party a seemed to have a reeally good time he gave me a hug when he frist got there. he also gave me a card he wrote with a really nice meassage in it. I really feel like I could make him and me more then friends, the way I phrased that does not sound good but I think you know what Iam trying to say. anyhow my question is how do I make it know that I might want to be more than freinds with out actully saying it too him?

GC again

2009-07-28T06:07:29Z

hey all I just thought I would post somemore about Me and GC. the other day i was chatting with him on facebook. He asked why I kept contact him when he was on. I said that I liked talk to my friends when I saw they were online. anyhow he end up asking what I want for our reltionship. I did not want to be honest and say that I wanted him to be my boyfriend caues I had no idea what he was going to say. anyhow I said I dont know yet. he said he wants to be my friend. someone pointed out to me that using the words our realtionship does not seems like a phrase you would say to someone you just want to be friends with. what do you guys think. GC and I went to a play on friday night after he walked me home he gave me a hug.

date?

2009-07-08T20:05:40Z

okay all i am posting more about GC. i went out to dinner with him last thursday. It went good. He did not mention religion, that much. So I think that other stuff i heard was just rumors and gossip for the others in the cast. He seemed to have a good time. I really do not know if he likes me as a friend or is hoping for something more like I am. I am not usually, going to a get this kind of .signals. He did pay me a few compliments he said I had a brilliant, mind and that i had had a very unique, look and should go into movies. we have made plans to go out again. anyhow I said before i really like him. I found out that some of the others cast members pulled a really nasty prank on him. I wont go into detail but he was a real mean high school level thing to do. I felt really bad for him. anyhow wish me luck that it all goes well.

new crush

2009-06-29T04:33:11Z

hey all i have written anything on this in ages. but not much is going on. there is a new guy that I am crushing on. He was in the most reccent play I was in. anyhow there is just something about him that draws me too him. well besides the obvious that he very very nice looking. He and I have made tetive plans to hang out soemtime soon. anyhow, i dont like tell person name so i will call him GC. anyhow the promblem is GC i a bit Religious . on his facebook he has list his Religious views as Infinite Love. I have no idea what that means, anyhow i was taking to one of the other cast members and she said he try to save her. I talk to my cousin about this and he said to try and hang out with him anyhow, since we dont know what actully went on. NO one but me in the cast really liked him that much anyhow. I guess the point of my ramblings are if I dont hang out with him and brings up religious stuff what should i do. I all so think that this guy is an aspie. it hard to say why but he sets my aspiedar off big time anyhow I will let you all know what happens.

some things.

2009-05-12T05:56:41Z

I found a email in my work email about that they were looking for persons to march in the LGBT pide parade. i was wondering if i should do it. he are the reason i hesitating

1. well if my went my co workers would why i was. yes i know i should not care but some person at work are very anit gay etc. i dont think they would understand what genderqueer is an would wrongly assume i was gay. I i said above i should not give a rat ass what other think but I cannot help it.

2. I hate crowds adue to my aspergers and would proably be freaked out.

more about that guy.

2009-04-29T17:42:48Z

this is more about the guy that i have a crush on. it will not post his real name i will just call him by he chracters name mowgli. anyhow I would like to get to know him better. I really can remeber only one or two times we talked togther. It he seems to like this other girl in class, becaues she well lets say well endowed. anyhow on the last day of class. i am going to pass around and adress book and have every one write the phone number and email. then maybe if I am brave i will call him. btw the way i dont feel as storgly about him as i do my other crushes but it think i will try and befreind him. Like i said in my last entry, his has a GF. but if i hang around him for awhile they might break up and then he will come to me. yes that is my evil plan.

realtionships

2009-04-17T17:57:23Z

latley i have been thinking about realtionships. i would like to be dating someboy. however i feel scared do to my assexulity issues. I belive that most guys want sex as part of a realtionship. I no there are guys out there that are asexxual aslo. I have checked those dating sites. it seems like they sites have alot more woman than men and the guys that are on it around here are all really young. speaking of young guys, i have a bit of a crush on a guy thats in the play with me. today i found out he is only 20. he has a GF. anyhow but i would like to befreind him at least. lets say if he want dating do you all think that he would be to young for me? depending on when he bday is he is like 10 or 11 years younger than me?

hey all i am back

2009-04-03T17:49:55Z

sorry i have not witten anything in a long time. he was new in my life my uncle mike lost his battle with cancer and died about a week ago. its sad it was not even 60 yet. today was the first peromanc eof the jungle book. it went prety good i muffed a line slightly but it was all right. the audiance wad all 1st graders they were cute kids. not much else going on here.

this is going around.

2009-02-02T18:22:19Z

In comments to this post, ask me about the first time I did something. It can be anything--the first time I'll answer in comments. Then (if you like) put it on your journal and see who asks you questions

jungle book

2009-01-30T19:39:29Z

the spring semesters started a few weeks ago. i am taking childerns theatre: elematry. we put on a play for k-5 grades we are doing the jungle book. I am plaing a monkey and mowgil's liitle human brother. i wanted to be shere kan the tiger but the teacher/director thought i was to small to look scary a the villain. i was mad at first a bit. but know I doesnt bother me.

long time no post

2008-12-27T18:33:52Z

I have not posted here in ages. i am fine nothing much is going on in my world. my uncle mike has bladder cancer but he had a surgery to get rid of the cancer and recoustructe the bladder. i hope every one out there is well.

posted for a group i belong too.

2008-10-20T21:22:11Z

cofused about myself.
I have posted something simalr to this before. I not sure were extacly. anyhow I have read alot of FTM autobiographies. i have idenfied with them alot. but somethings do not fit in for example i never actully expressed any desired as a child about want to be a boy. but i was in no way girl. I hated dolls with a capital H. well I did like troll dolls. my toys were more boyish too. i had mostly voltron he-man and stuff like that true i also had rainbo brite and my little pony. I never remeber like to were dresses. If we had to go to a fancy event and sooon as i got home i would run to my room and change to a tee shirt and jeans. as i got older I disliked the girl stuff more. in 5th grade a statred playing with the boys at reccess more becasue the gilrs talked about make up and did each others hair and junk like that. but i could not fit in with the boys becauese i did not like the rough and tumble play. anyhow there is alot more i could write about but i do not want to bore you all. but the older I get the less female i feel

work and me

2008-09-22T20:03:43Z

my dad was giving grief,yesterday because he wants me to be done with school yes i know i have been here in college for 11 years i am getting sick of it to but my dad was making it seem like I am being lazy. he also wants me to become a librarian. I would not mind that but I would want to be one of those behind the scenes ones i would not want have to deal the public all day. long. i not even sure if i want to stay in the library. My dad says its good money but i do not want to be one of those persons that hates going into work everyday.

back at school

2008-08-27T20:41:40Z

Hey all i am back at school I am only taking one class this semester I was taking two but droped the english one becasue I was so much work> i will take again and when i will do that will be my only class. i recently turned 30. but most of you know that. not much else excting or new is going on.

fiorello is done

2008-07-22T17:12:57Z

fiorello is odne that means that i cannot see it anymore becaues this time they are not bringing it back makes me sad that I will never see it again. I still get to see PJ around the theatre. i wish i could talk to him in a place other than the Theatre but i cant think of a way of inviting him that does not seem creepy of obsessive.

my weekend bot good and bad.

2008-07-07T17:27:46Z

the weekend started on on friday since it was the 4th of july. I did not do anything fun. I wa taken extra dose of my heart medince because I have been having raipd heartbeat icndients again. so I just spent the day laying around. all thou later my aunt kate came over. On saturday I went to a weding. one of our cleaning women was gatting married and she invited us. I dont like wedings becaues of the socialness involed plus it does not help when 99.9% of the people and the weding speak polish and only a little bit of english. The next wedding I have to go to is my couisn's but that will not be for a whole year or maybe more becaues they have not set date. On sunday I went to see fiorello again. it was cool as usual. why I was waiting after the show I saw and talked to PJ again. He gave me a button that said fiorello on it. he had them made for the cast but said I could have on since i was the shows biggest fan. After the show I went for ice cream with freelark. which was cool excpet I thougt the ice cream was not very good. then I felt sick actully I felt sick before and should not have had the ice cream. evertime I see fiorello I get to excited and get either a headache or an upset stomache. freelark suggest they I get lovesick for seein PJ. i guess that is true. does anyone have any suggetion on how I can calm my self next time and not get sick.

crushes part 2

2008-06-29T17:39:45Z

they other day my mom and I where talking about my crush on PJ. she asked of all the guys I have liked in my life which have I like the most. i was nott sure what to respond. I mean the one I am going thru now seems the strongest becasue its current. Besides some of the crushes I had in the past is when I was a young kid and those a feel differnt then the crushes I have get now. anyhow What do you all think about this a are them anyone of you out there that have crushes on anyone. you dont have to say there names of coures or ppost annoumulsy.

things I have been thinking

2008-06-18T17:29:17Z

some of you Are a bit worried about me being to obessed with PJ. Do not worry I am not going to do anything crazy. I relaize he is married and has a kid. I assume his marriage is a happy one. I know i will most like never get a chance to date him or anything but I accept that. I would like to be frineds with him a least. anyhow on to a diffent topic on fathers day my parents and me went to the cemetary were my grandparents are burried. why i was they i wonderd if years from now when I am dead any burried if anyone will come to my grave. i would like to think that they would I guess that would mean that i have to meet some on and have kids to acclompish that. I do not want to doe and be burried along with my name like elnoir rigby.

more of the same.

2008-06-11T23:16:29Z

sorry if the post is kind of saying some of the same stuff my pervious pots was but i still have PJ on the brain. actully he is one my brain alot. anyhow I most every night he appears in my dreams usually they are romantic. Then I wake up sad that the are not real. the other night my dream about him was kind of creepy. i dreamnt that i was waking down a street i brooklyn and someone with a scary mask started chasing me. they knocked Me down to the ground. It turn out to be him. then he started kissing my face. Is anyone out there a good dream interputer than can tell me what it means.

that is a pic of what Pj looks like once again sorry about rambling about the same thing. but i sort of like to use this blog to talk about what ever is on my brain. sorry i I bored anyone. I dont think that many are reading my LJ and how.

crushes

2008-06-04T18:23:42Z

alot of the crushes i get or on celeberities. the one i have now is a local chicago actor named PJ Powers. those who know me now I have Been seeing the play he is in obsseively. I would like the play even if he was not in it. anyhow back to the point. I sometimes wonder if i get celbe crushes on purpose. the famouse celebes i most likly will never meetand in the case of PJ all though i have tallked to him a the thearte a few times i know he is married and has a one year old. sometimes I think its easier to crush on him then a avaible persons becasue Of my spergers and asexulaity. person woukd would be avaible would want to do sexual things

this is a test

2008-05-28T17:35:03Z

one of my readears said she could not access my LJ. anyhow i thougnht i would post and see what happens. I aslo have sad news to report. last week my parents and I had to put our cat pinky to sleep she was 20 years old and over 4 days went down hill fast. i miss my sweet litle Pinky.

sorry

2008-05-16T15:22:27Z

sorry i have not posated here in ages. not much intersting has been going on with me. my lastest interest is the musical fiorello. it is playing here in chicago. It was here 2 years ago and i saw it twice. so far this year i have seen it 3 times an am going back 3 more. if you could not tell form above i really like the show. the main reason is the lead actor who plays fiorello his name is PJ Powers. he is a great actor. He is very nice looking too. I think i have a bit of a crush on him. in case your a wondering the musical is based on Fiorello H. LaGuardia who wa sthe mayor of new york in thw 30,s here is a link to some info about him and infor aboout the shoow.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fiorello_LaGuardia

http://www.timelinetheatre.com/fiorello2/index.htm

cross post for a one of my LJ groups

2008-03-28T17:36:35Z

sticking up for ftms
yeterday at work. i was down checking were the computers are checking my email. shush don,t tell i was supposed to be working. anyhow some cowokers we talking about the news story about the transman who is going to have a baby. the kept calling him she and it was driving me nuts. they aslo had a very durgatroy sound to there voice when talking about him. after finding a way to get in on the conversation i told them to stop calling him she i also told them are tran person are not mentally ill. i don,t think the appericated my lecture but i felt i had to speak up

schoool stuff

2008-03-03T19:55:53Z

the semster is more than half way over. i am doing well in my woman playwrights class but badly in my math 092 class. I talked to the people in the dissabilties office about what to do this is the second time i have taken the class. i am meeting with them again later in the week to decide what to do.

annoyaces

2008-02-19T18:33:35Z

this year the winter in chicago has been bad after a many years of mild winters this one has been brutal. in by my house some think that they don't, have to shovel there walk everytime it snows there walks turn more and more icy. why are these persons so lazy i have seen some of there they look like the are able to do there walks. i so tried of slipping and sliding each day.